I said yes, of course. We weren't getting married right away, but it was amazing just to be engaged. I brought up my dream to him last night. I started off by saying, "so you asked me to marry you last night." "Who did what now?" was his response. I explained it was a dream and all that. He said he's not entirely opposed to the idea and kind of dropped it. In a not ready kind of way. Which I expected. I told him in the dream we still weren't getting married for a couple years, to which he talked about how a girl from his grade school is married and it's weird to see her posts online and how it's surreal. I told him I know four people our age married and one younger engaged. He said damn and changed the subject.
-Don't get me wrong, I went to a bubble of a school. No drugs, no fights, no diversity really. Getting married so young would have been a laughing matter in high school. It's way out of the ordinary and flat out shocking so many are married now.-
It kind of hurt that he wouldn't talk about it at all. We've talked about our potential future together many times, but I think this made it a little more real for him and freaked him out. I have no doubt we will marry though. We're always being told we're perfect together and it's true. We never fight. We may have disagreements, but we work through them without issues. And we're always happy together. We have no secrets from one another and we do/like so many of the same things. But we also like enough different things that it's never boring and we get our own time. We've practically been living together since we started dating over a year and a half ago. He was living in the dorms and I was living at home so I'd stay at his place at the very least twice a week and since we now have our own places, it's rare that we're not at one of our houses with the other. And we stay at each others' places to be together. Not to have sex. Though it happens, but not all the time. We didn't even have sex until ten months in. Waaaaay better than some of our friends who only wait two months, a couple weeks, or even have one night stands. Sex is something really special to us and we wanted to wait until we were sure this was a good thing. Turns out it was amazing. :)
He is kind of introverted though. And I have way more life experience than he does. And he can sometimes be very narrow minded and stubborn about it. But those are hardly and issue. Those little things I can deal with, no problem.
People have said he's not good enough for me. If you know me, you'll learn I'm outgoing, always happy, and attractive (something that feels very weird to admit. It took me a very, very long time to believe it, but I'm starting to see it. When I try.). I work for a circus and love chatting with strangers and making kids laugh, I'm a sales model for a men's bow and neck tie company where I have to look pretty and mingle with wealthy people, and I recently got picked up by a modeling agency and an art studio (to be a drawing or sculpture model). Neither of which I've really responded to....I need to get on that.... But I'm a fashion design major so I also dress well, wear heels every day, take good care of myself, and all that.
David is cute. He's not "hot," but he is attractive in a goofy boy kind of way, which is perfect. I don't really see many people as hot and I think I wouldn't be very comfortable being with that anyway. He's not outgoing, but if you know him well, he is silly and so funny and clever. I have a lot of problems from my past relationships and various problems I've had to deal with, specifically in high school, so I'm very broken. Not that I'll let that show. I went through a severe depression two years ago and only two people knew out of all the people and friends I was around every day. But getting off topic. He still accepts me and tries to fix me. He listens to me when I have a problem, holds me when I cry, and tries to do anything he can to help. He cares about me more than anyone in the world and he's already so close to perfect, if he got any better he would be. Which would suck. No one wants to be with someone perfect. Ew. He's the perfect amount of perfect. I'm usually thinking I'm not good enough for him. And I think if people saw us 24/7, how we really are behind closed doors and all that, I think they'd find that to be true. So maybe to the public I'm too good for him, but that's a load of bologna. ;)
I'd love to be engaged to him right now. I'd love to take that next step, even if we wait to marry until we're out of school. That sounds amazing to me. The perfect plan. But if he's not ready, not much I can do about it.
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